Being clingy

So, thanks to some crazy stuff that's happened this week with Parker and the Army, I've gotten a little (or can you say VERY) clingy. It's so stupid but this whole "dating an Army boy" is all new to me and I just went a little over the deep end. I know I'm annoying him, I can just tell by the way he talks to me now, but he's being so good about not pointing it out, or at least pointing it out subtly.

Well, today I was looking at some PostSecret type quotes (I'm completely obsessed with PostSecret now and I'm finding all kinds of websites that are similar) and I've found a few that apply to this situation.

I'm sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I'm sorry when you take long to reply I get sad. I'm sorry if I say things that make you mad. I'm sorry if I come off as annoying. I'm sorry if you don't want to talk as much as I want to. I'm sorry if I think about you too much and too often. I'm sorry if I tell you about my pointless drama when you don't really need to hear it. I'm sorry if I come off as being clingy, but it's just me missing you .

 Dear love,

I'm sorry I can be a little bit impatient, annoying, and a pain but I want you to know that I love you and only you and no one else. You will always be my favorite topic to talk about and I love your smile. You will never be replaced and I hope we will last a very long time. We'll never know what the future might bring so I promise you I will never let you go.

Loving you always.

Me

Not exactly sure how to tell him I'm sorry for being a bit of a downer lately and for being extra clingy so I was thinking that sending him one of these would show him that I don't really mean to be this way. 

Well *raises glass* here's to another week down.

2 weeks/3 weeks

I know I know...I just posted something a few minutes ago but these two posts are extremely different.

This week marks 3 weeks since I last saw Parker and 2 weeks since he left the country. When I think about how long he's been deployed, I think the time has gone by fast. When I think about how long it's been since I've seen him, I think the time has slowed down so much. It feels like ages since I've seen him, so much longer than 3 weeks. We haven't skyped since he left which might be part of the reason that I feel like it's been such a long time. Once I'm able to see his face, I'm sure everything will be ok. As for the 2 weeks, thankfully work started this week so I'm no longer constantly thinking about him being away from me. Well, for about 5 hours in the afternoon I don't think about it. That's a big improvement from thinking about it 24 hours a day.

We're not able to talk like we normally do, which is right before he goes to bed, for a few weeks because of my work schedule so I'm hoping we'll have a chance to talk when he wakes up which is around the time I head to bed. Today was just really hard to get through because, while at work, I looked at the clock at one point and saw that it was 3pm which was when Parker gets online. I thought I was going to start crying right then. I just wanted to hear from him and know that he was ok. I got home and there was an email from him right before he went to bed. Emails just aren't the same as an actual conversation, even if that conversation is on FB chat

Between two worlds

A friend posted this on her FB and it's so so true. The civilian world and military world are extremely different. People in the civilian world really have no idea what those of us in the military world go through



Between Two Worlds

365 days ago, I stood at Fort Benning and hugged my husband and his buddies as they deployed to Iraq. Back then, we were told to plan for an 18-month deployment, but if they were home in 15 months it would be a gift. That they are home in 12 is a miracle in my book.

I have recently come to the conclusion that when you have someone deployed, you live in two worlds: "This" world and "That" world. In This World, everything goes on as normal. You go to work (for those that work), do the laundry, clean the house, pay the bills... You know -- all the things "normal" people do.

But we're not normal. We also live in That World -- the world where the telephone ringing in the middle of the night is normal 'cause it's morning over there. The world where news is everything and vague reports of improvised explosive devices can raise your heart rate 10 beats a minute and unconfirmed reports of soldiers' deaths can cause you to inhale involuntarily. The world that can fall apart in an instant when the caller ID says it's Fort _____ or there's a knock at the door and the chaplain is standing there.

In This World, holidays are a day off or a reason to shop. In That World, holidays are markers of time passing... merely milestones until homecoming. First we got through Valentine's Day, then Easter (telling ourselves that they'll be home next Easter), then Memorial Day (oh how we'll celebrate next Memorial Day!), Independence Day (we'll have the best barbecue next 4th!), Labor Day, Columbus Day... just marking time in That World... the World where you live between goodbyes and hellos until it's goodbyes again.

In This World, birthdays and anniversaries, the births of children, the marriages of friends and family are celebrated with a degree of sadness because your soldier is not here... your soldier is in harm's way. Can you ever truly celebrate in This World when your heart is mostly in That World? We do but only because we are forced to live in This and That World.
We live in This World where the ringing phone is just a ringing phone -- an annoyance, an interruption... but we are forced to also live in That World where we curse because the phone does not ring often enough or can bring unhappy news... where 21st century technology is a tether to That World but which we curse in blackout or busy times when we are plunged into unwanted silence.

In This World, shopping is a normal every day activity, but because we also live in That World, it is a lifeline to our soldier: shopping for the things they need... the things they like.. the things that tie them to home -- to us... tie them to This World and learning that soft toilet paper or their favorite brand of salsa may be more priceless than gold in That World.

In This World there are 24 hours in a day, but because we also live in That World, we live a parralel 24. As we progress through our days in This World, we are calculating the time in That World and conjuring up pictures of what our soldier is doing at that moment. When we eat we wonder if they had a hot meal today... when we shower we wonder if they had hot water for a shower or whether it was a water bottle rinse off... we wonder if the mail even got through today. In This World, "Where did the time go?" is a simple phrase. In That World, it is a blessing that the hour or day went quickly because in That World time passes excruciatingly slow -- especially those last few days until that plane touches down and the senior officer yells, "Dismissed!"
In This World, you are brave, tough, and supportive and you dare not admit to many that in That World you are also weary, frightened, worried sick, and lonesome for your soldier and sometimes you cry about it for him and for you.

In This World, you smile politely when someone asks about the yellow ribbon pin or the purple "For Those Who Serve" bracelet you wear... and you smile broadly when they ask you to thank your soldier for their service in That World.
In This World you wonder why people clap when David Letterman or Jay Leno say hurtful things about the War while your soldier fights nobly in That World for their right to say it. In This World you find that you talk back to the television a lot and that you stop watching or listening to Senators and Representatives and clueless celebrities who can't seem to put aside their partisanship long enough to see the effect some of their mindless statements have on those that live in That World and are fighting That war. In This World you wouldn't dream of challenging someone demanding that we cut and run, but because we also live in That World, we have no qualms about telling them that they don't know their butt from an indentation in the Earth's surface and thoughtfully answer all their rote mumblings about oil, lies, wealth, WMD -- and when they spout "We support the troops" -- we don't hesitate to ask them to prove it!

Before this deployment, I thought that once he -- once Our Guys -- was home, I would return to living in just one world -- This World. However, now that the deployment is over, I have come to realize that a part of me will always live between the two worlds. That World is now an integral part of This World for me... as it is for many others.

In This World, your friends are those you know in your neighborhood and from the PTA or Lions Club meetings. For the families of those deployed, our friends in This World include everyone that understands all too well That World: friends that are serving, those that have served, the families of those that are deployed, have been deployed or are deploying and the people that really do support them... always ready with a helping hand, an encouraging word, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold in good times and bad. That World is a big world inhabited by a large family of which I am proud to be a member and for which I will forever be grateful.

You know your soldier is deployed when...

Found this online and thought it was super cute...and it's so true

1. You wear old sweatpants and sweatshirts to bed.

2. You can watch any movie you want without arguing with him first.

3. You get up in the middle of the night to check your e-mail or you stay on the computer all night waiting for them to get on. (I have been waking up in the middle of the night for the past week to check for emails)

4. You love watching cute love movies because it reminds you of all the cute things he does when he's home.

5. You haven't shaved your legs in weeks.

6. The people at the post office know you because you're sending so many care packages (this will be happening soon for me lol)

7. You start paying close attention in class when the words "military" or "Iraq" are mentioned.

8. You suddenly have an obsession with anything military related.

9. You see someone wearing an army, navy, air force, or USMC shirt and you get this overwhelming urge to talk to them.

10. You make friends with strangers online just because they are in the same situation as you and are the only ones that can truly understand what you are going through. (MIG!!!!!!!!!!!)

11. Your first Christmas together is.... apart....

12. You find yourself checking your facebook every fifteen minutes. (ha more like every 5 and now I'm constantly online hoping he'll get on)

13. You wear his dog tags all day and night no matter what outfit you are wearing (I actually wear either the custom dog tags with his name on them or his army ring on a chain all the time)

14. The highlight of your day is getting a letter that was mailed a month ago.

15. And if you don't get a letter, the highlight of your day is writing him a letter that you know he will be able to read in a month.

16. You realize that HOMECOMING is so much more than a football game.

17. You want to hit any happy couple you see together.

18. You've exhausted every idea a brain could have of what to put in a box.

19. You see a "support our troops" sticker on a car when you are stuck in traffic and you find yourself guessing about who they know that is deployed and thinking about their entire life story.

20. When the clock says 11:11, you find yourself wishing for the same thing every time: Your Soldier Home Safe :)

21. You get excited when its only 9 months until you see your soldier instead of 12!

22. You can't stand girls that talk about missing their boyfriends who live a few hours away. You just want to yell "drive and go see them them" because if you had the chance, you would even walk all the way over to where he is just to get one kiss :)

23. You find yourself randomly crying from just looking at a picture of the two of you together.

24. You find yourself randomly crying and you sometimes have no idea why.

25. You stay on the Internet for hours searching for anything and everything about the military.

26. You talk to your friends about him so much that they know his full name, birthday and even his favorite color.

27. You are reading this and smiling and nodding because you know it's so true!

28. You sleep with his favorite blanket so often it's starting to smell less like him and more like your perfume (I have 2 of his jackets, not a blanket, and they are starting to smell like me and not him anymore...so sad)

29. You get up early so that by the time he gets off work you're wide awake and ready to keep staring at your computer/phone

30. You never go to sleep without saying a prayer for your soldier to please come home safe and ask the Lord to please watch over him no matter where he is and thank the Lord for blessing you with this wonderful man !!!!