This weeks is devoted to...

This is the first week Parker is gone and I've heard that this week and next will probably be the hardest for me. I'm not expecting to hear from him either of these weeks and I'm hoping there is a chance that the third will bring a message from him but I've also told myself that it could easily be a month before I hear anything.

Until then, this week is completely devoted to me being mad about all of this. I am going to cry when I feel like it. I will be furious at the Army for making him go over there. I will be depressed that I'm not hearing from him. I will even be mad at Parker for telling me that he was excited to go over there. I will let all of my emotions out however I feel like because there is no use holding it all in. If I try to hold it in, that first Skype conversation with Parker is going to be a BAD one. 

I'm also trying to start a bit of a routine today. It's not much because every day is not planned out since I'm not working yet but at least I'll have a few things to do that will stay consistent every day. As I said in my post last night, I'm starting a picture-a-day project for every day that Parker is gone. I will constantly be looking around for something I can snap a shot of. I'm also going to start writing in a journal. I'm going to write down my first thought when I wake up in the morning and at night, right before I go to bed, I'm going to write down what happened that day, all my emotions, and just whatever else I feel like I need to get out of my system. I'm hoping this will help out when Parker and I are able to start having regular Skype dates. All the negatives emotions and thoughts will be put in the journal so that when I talk to him I will just be...happy. He's told me he doesn't want me to be sad while he's gone so I'm going to do my best to always be happy when we are able to talk. I haven't decided yet whether or not I'll show him the journal when he gets back.